Coming to terms with death…
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to come to terms with my sister, Lori’s death. It was sudden. It was unexpected and it was horrific. If I could turn around time, I would in a heart beat. If I could tell her once again how much she meant to me and how much I loved her, I would jump at the opportunity.
But, there’s no going back.
So, I’ve been on a long and painful road to accept what happened.
On the bike…
The other day, I was riding a relatively long ride on my bike. I had a two hour ride and then a run off the bike, which is called a brick. As I was riding along, I saw a beautiful butterfly and I thought of my sister.
Then, I started to think about my mother, who died six years ago. Both my sister and my mother were fighters. If they could have lived they would have. They loved life.
I had my mother for 50 years. How lucky was I to have a mother for 50 years? Many of my friends lost their mother early but I had the opportunity to get to know my mother and share experiences with her. I started to think about my sister. I’m really lucky to have had her in my life for 56 years. When my mother died, Lori was my rock and my confidant. We shared so many secrets that I never told anyone else and I’m sure she never told anyone else the secrets she told me.
Whenever the song, FANTASY by Earth, Wind, and Fire comes on my iTunes, I would cry thinking about her. Now, I envision her dancing and twirling in her room, while FANTASY blasts on the stereo. I envision myself dancing with her and now, and, instead of crying, I smile.
I’m grateful to have had a wonderful mother and an amazing sister in my life and although they are gone, I will always think of both of them with a smile on my face.